5 Tips for Parent- Teacher Confernces

As I said in an earlier post, I don't fancy P-T conferencing, mainly, because it's hard to tell parents how awfully their children are doing. Many times I chose the wrong word and found my self trapped in an endless argument. However, as time goes by, I learn new strategies to take the best of the conference and not to have a nervous breakdown.

1. Is it necessary?

Before calling anyone, think if it is necessary to ask parents to come. Sometimes, after a serious analysis on the problem you realize that perhaps it is not the right time to call them, either because another teacher has already called them for the same problem or because you don't have enough evidence to show your point (you may have a lot of hunches and your experience tells you that something will be wrong soon, but that is not valid for parents). Talking with other teachers can also help you find a better solution.

Take your time, don't rush, and analyse how urgent the meeting is.

2. Plan. Plan. Plan.

There's nothing better than planning. Think carefully what are you going to say, and how! Sometimes you have very good intentions but you chose the wrong words and you spoil the conference. I'm not joking, parents are very defensive at this kind of meetings. The reason behind this attitude is that they have no idea of what happens inside the school; they must trust you or their child, and if the child says something different, they will trust him/her.

3. Ask parents for advice

It's a good idea tell them "I know your child behaves at home, so can you give me a small piece of advice on how to help him/ her" It's practically a rule of thumb that naughty children are also naught at home, but a little white lie does hurt and sets parents in a more positive mood.

This strategy has worked almost always. Except for once, there was this very quarrelsome father who answered "Well if you cannot control my child then you are not qualified to be a teacher, I should be taking your position. I can do it better" No comments, just "like father, like son"

4. Notes!!

Note taking is important before, during and after the meeting.
                     Before, so that you have plenty of information at hand.
                     During, because in the conference you get very valuable information.
                     After, writing an overall comment will help you at the moment of planning a solution or to support your decisions.

5. Don't take it personal

As I said, parents are not usually friendly at these conferences, so don't take it personal. They are nervous and anxious so they may say something that you may find offensive. But if you think this is going out control or you feel they are too aggressive, don't hesitate and call a school authority to back you up.


I hope you find this useful and that your next P-T conference runs much more smoothly!

How to Turn a Messy Class into an Ideal Class

1.       Whenever you need someone to model the correct behaviour, have a (naughty) child do so, because that way this child can experience the correct behaviour, and for the rest of the class it is a good example to see “the naughty” behaving correctly.

2.    If you need to meet the parents (or call them) don’t tell them all the things their child does wrongly; most probably they already know what their child is like. It’s better if you ask parents for “advice”, this way they are less defensive and more prom to help you.

3.      Reward for good behaviour. In my class we have a “reward jar” and every time they behave correctly I add one or two bids and when the jar is full we have a different lesson (perhaps we play outside, or I bring a pet or a movie, or we have a picnic). The importance of this group reward is that it fosters cooperation and collaboration.

4.        When something goes wrong or students are not following some norms: back up and try again.

5.       Give them structure- and lots of it! Try to stablish a routine and make corners visible and clearly separated. If your class is predictable (in form, content will always vary) learners are less anxious and they know what to do in each moment.

6.       Reduce the amount of work required for a given task (e.g. Five sentences to complete instead of ten). 

7.       Finally, (and most importantly) think about why the struggles are happening. There is always a reason for misbehaving, so try to tackle the root of the problems and consequences will disappear soon.